NOTEPAD No. 32

Question: How do you deal with negative comments?

Answer: I have been very fortunate that most of my readers and followers are incredibly kind, thoughtful people. Here and there I may get a negative comment. I have always tried to spend time responding to and thanking those who leave positive comments. I feel responding only to a negative comment when there are a disproportionate number of positive ones sends a bad message. I typically never delete comments (I have deleted a handful that have either been threatening, or so far off base that they are extremely offensive not only to me, but to my family, friends or fellow readers). As I mentioned, with a very bland negative comment such as ‘I hate that outfit’, I simply scroll on by. If a comment is being critical, yet thoughtful, I do spend time responding as I do think I can grow from feedback that is constructive and do enjoy dialogue with readers even when the conversation is tough. A negative or critical comment can sting – badly – but over time, and as I have matured, I take very few things personally and rather try to see where the reader is coming and how I can grow from the feedback. I try to be extremely mindful when approaching my response to negative comments to respond, not to react (the two are very, very different). Everyone will not like everything that I say or do, so I set realistic expectations for myself. If I need to take a step back, or feel myself getting worked up, I just walk around the block and cool off. I recognize that in putting myself out there I will be exposed to both positive and negative comments (I wish it could all be rainbows and butterflies). While I don’t think anyone on the internet should be subject to cyber bullying or hate speech, negative feedback comes with the territory.

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” – Harry Truman